Loving Ourselves Properly: Balance Acceptance, Positivity, Health and Confidence. (My Reaction to Mainstream Body Positivity)

                                                                                                                                                  

  My Journey                   

                            It took me years before I arrived in a stage in my life where I started to appreciate who I really am and I'm telling you now, it's one hell of a ride . Living in a conservative society full of judgemental individuals made it challenging for me to love myself even more. How I wish they made it easy for me because it is difficult to be the subject of laughing matter by the pretty and slim and mean girls especially in college (hi girls! you know who you are 😊). I wanted nothing more than to be accepted but they were successful in making me feel awful about myself that time. There were times that I wish I was skinny not because I wanted to be one but because life would be easier and peaceful for me. There came a time that I lost some weight because of stress and pressure at school. Unfortunately, it only lasted for 2 years. In all honesty, I didn't enjoy my reduced size that much because I can only tolerate 3 spoons of rice and vegetables then I'd feel like vomiting after. Going through series of emotional breakdowns because of stress and challenges in life isn't a joke at all. In my own opinion, Id' rather be happy. It means that being in a normal weight isn't the answer to my questions in life LOL but I won't deny that it could have pros too. Whatever your opinions are, you have to respect the fact that it won't matter because my preference would still be the priority here. You haven't been in my shoes so don't even try to judge me. Currently, I am size 16-18 depending on the brand and I have been enjoying the plus size journey since my state of mind changed. It became more positive and focused on self love.

Let's Talk About  Body Positivity

                             According to Mallorie Dunn from an article in Psychologytoday.com , body positivity is accepting your body particularly the shape, and size. It also includes the flaws it undergoes through different circumstances like age and the consequence of our personal choices in the past. In addition to that, Kaila Prins also emphasized that body positivity also entails self care which means treating your own body right.

What do I think About it?

                              I definitely agree to what Dunn and Prins said. There were some plus size bloggers who are angry about encouraging healthy eating and working out. It was not intended to pressure them to change their body size but to keep it in a healthy state. Body Positivity should embrace healthy lifestyle and not to promote habits that are bad for our body. We linked the word POSITIVITY and I believe it is connected to healthy habits which is something positive. Whether they use fat positivity or body. We should not limit it to accepting whatever size you are in consequently, ending up getting sick. I certainly disagree on that part. You cannot just say that it's okay to be fat and and lazy predispose yourself to stroke, diabetes and heart problems. Encouraging everyone to eat everything and be beautiful has series of detrimental effects to our health. Balancing positivity and health is what we need right now. Tolerating health threats would predispose everyone to illness and that is not positivity at all. I am against mainstream body positivity which aims to pressure and transform plus sized women to size 0 and above since that isn't bopo at all. It's just a mask for bopo.  Yes, our worth shouldn't be negatively judged because of our shape and size and we can only do that if we start loving ourselves properly. Please don't get me wrong. I am for bopo  which aims to lift plus size women up. We should be allowed to be confident, wear whatever we want but not to the extent that we justify being unhealthy in the end. As they said, body positivity aims to celebrate bodies that are deemed to be unattractive but does it celebrate an unhealthy state of body and mind? I don't think so. Let's not shut people off just because they are giving us some healthy lifestyle suggestions. Everyone deserves love and appreciation in whatever size or shape that they're in.  If we only open our hearts and minds to changing for the better then we can love ourselves all the more right? We can give our body what it rightfully deserves.